Written In The Stars
by navycorpsman
Summary: Ray returns to County's ER and finds that his and Neela's love is written in the stars.
1. Return To County

_I don't own the characters. They are owned by NBC and Michael Crichton and all those who write, produce, and etc…ER. If I did own ER, Neela and Ray would be together…since they're PERFECT for each other. _

_I don't own Westlife (if I did, Kian would be in red silk boxers all the time and have his hair dyed brown so those dreamy blue eyes POP!…LoL) or the song. However, like millions others, I do own the CD the song is on, but that's just about it._

_Anyhow, this is a little drabble (maybe?). I was listening to Westlife (hence the title of this story) and this popped into my head. I hope my muses aren't continuing to be rusty and that you enjoy!_

* * *

**When I see how my path  
****Seem to end up before your face  
****The state of my heart, the place where we are  
****Was written in the stars**

**_WRITTEN IT THE STARS_ by Westlife**

I adjusted my coat to protect myself from the cold Chicago winter. After being in Baton Rouge for the past two and a half years, I would have to get used to the subzero weather again. I sighed as I stepped out of my apartment. I had found a great apartment on South Dearborn and was half excited about returning to County.

I was getting on with my life and part of the healing was returning to County. Not just as a doctor, but as an attending in the Emergency Department. Again. As I walked towards the train, I knew that I'd run into her. I heard from Sam that Neela was still there in surgery.

I found my heart pounding as I found a seat on the El. I wasn't sure how I'd respond to meeting her again. Would I still have the same feelings? I knew I loved her then and I worked hard to forget her, but as things go, you never really forget your soul mate.

I had interviewed with Dr. Anspaugh over the phone and he seemed happy that I wanted to return. I wasn't sure what all to expect my first day, but I wasn't expecting what I got. I walked through the doors of the ED, because of working there previously, I expected busy, but I got bombarded.

"Hey, Ray." Greg Pratt slapped a chart against my chest. "Can you get curtain two? Little girl with possible stomach flu."

"Gotcha!" I looked at the chart as I walked towards curtain two. I laughed to myself how, despite being gone for two and a half years, they were acting like I had just gone on a week's vacation and I was back.

"Hey, Ray. Glad you're back." Sam smiled as she passed me.

"Thanks, Sam. Glad to be back." I pulled a stool towards the bed and sat. "So, Christina, you're not feeling well."

"No." The young girl replied.

"Where does it hurt?" I asked as I stood up and put my stethoscope on.

She pointed to her lower right quad. "Hurts right here."

I listened to her breathing and her heartbeat. "Okay. Tell you what. I'll grab a nurse and see if she can help me figure out what's wrong with you, okay?"

Christina looked at me and painfully smiled. "Okay."

I left the curtain and found Chuni. "I need a full set of vitals on curtain two."

"Got it, Ray." Chuni rushed off to get the vitals.

I made my way back to the front desk, where Frank sat eating a doughnut. I smiled to myself. _Some things never change._ "Oh, Barnett." Frank said, nearly splattering me with powder. "Got a message for you."

I took the pink sheet from him. "I've only been on shift for an hour and someone calls?" I was a little surprised.

"It was your mother. Wanting to make sure you were okay." Frank looked at me, obviously wanting to say something. For the first time since knowing him, he didn't. He just looked at me. "How are you doing so far?"

I shrugged. "Fine."

Chuni came to the front desk. "Curtain two's temperature is 104.2 and she's vomiting."

I slammed the message on the front desk and ran back to curtain two. Sure enough, little Christina was vomiting. I looked immediately to her mother and father. "I need to ask a few questions."

Her mother looked at me like I was crazy, but nodded her head. "Okay."

"How long has she had the temperature?"

The mother shrugged. "I don't know. Two or three days. But, we thought it was just the flu."

I snapped my head up from palpitating the young girl's abdomen. "What made you think flu?"

Her father looked at me. "She hadn't been hungry for the past two days and she's been really tired."

"Any diarrhea?"

"Yeah. And she's been going to the bathroom quite often." Her mother softly stroked her daughter's sweaty forehead. "We've given her all the children's over the counter medications we could think of, but nothing's helped."

As I palpitated the lower right quadrant, Christina howled in pain. "Chuni, page Surgery." Immediately, her parents started asking questions. "She'll be fine. I'm going to get surgery to look at her. From her reaction to her lower ab being touched and the symptoms you've told me about, I'm positive she has appendicitis."

Chuni came back and cheekily grinned. "Surgery's on their way."

"Thanks, Chuni." I smiled back. I looked by at the parents. "Your daughter's going to be fine. County has some of the best surgeons."

"Yeah. Especially one in particular." Chuni's comment was out of place and she looked at me. "I'm just saying, Ray."

"Okay." I looked back to the parents in an attempt to change the subject. "Surgery should be down here in a bit to look at her." As I picked up the chart, I heard a familiar voice behind me.

"Ray?"


	2. Queen Of His Heart

_I don't own the characters. They are owned by NBC and Michael Crichton and all those who write, produce, and etc…ER. If I did own ER, Neela and Ray would be together…since they're PERFECT for each other. _

_I don't own Westlife (if I did, Kian would be in red silk boxers all the time and have his hair dyed brown so those dreamy blue eyes POP!…LoL) or the song. However, like millions others, I do own the CD the song is on, but that's just about it._

_Anyhow, this started off as a little drabble, but the muses had other ideas. I was listening to Westlife (hence the title of this story, though my muses have decided that some other Westlife songs should be employed in the story and this chapter is one where they wanted the song QUEEN OF MY HEART to be the inspiring song and told me __**put the lyrics in and make this a flashback chapter…**__and I listen when the muses speak!) and this popped into my head. (Flashbacks are in italics!) I hope my muses aren't continuing to be rusty and that you enjoy!_

* * *

**I'll always look back as I walk away  
****This memory will last for all eternity  
****And all of our tears will be lost in the rain  
****When I find my way back to your arms again  
****But until that day you know you are  
****The queen of my heart**

_**QUEEN OF MY HEART by Westlife**_

I turned and faced the cause of the voice behind me. I don't know why I had expected her to have changed, but she hadn't. She was still as beautiful and as lovely as she had ever been.

_She was packing when I came home with an extra large pizza with extra anchovies. I promised no more dirty dishes and she hits me with "I'm going to go stay at Abby's for a while." _

_I stared at her, surprised at the fact that she was moving out in one night. I asked her if she wanted to wait until she found another place, but she said she didn't think it was a good idea. She was right. I knew it as she handed me the shirt I had been looking for for a month._

_Then…she was gone. I followed her to the taxi and told her to wait a minute. I was doing my best to spill my heart to her and she's said nothing. "I wish I didn't feel how I feel. But you, you're the best friend I've ever had." I laid my heart out on the line and she got in the taxi and drove off. I understood she was married, but I knew I'd never get the chance to tell her how I was feeling. I didn't know what I was expecting her to say, but I wanted her to say something._

_Instead, she gets in the taxi and drives away with my heart in her hand. _

"Ray?" Neela's voice cut through my thoughts.

I snapped out of my reverie and respond. "Yeah?"

"I asked you if you did an MRI."

"No because it's a clear cut case." I smiled.

Neela smiled back. "Not much has changed, has it, Ray?"

_I still love you. That hasn't changed._ I thought to myself. "Nope. Not much."

"You got lucky. Get her up to surgery. I'll be up in just a moment." Neela looked at me. "What were you thinking?"

"Me? You know I never think, Neela." I sarcastically responded.

"Right." She sighed. "Hey, want to grab a cup of coffee after shift? You know, to get caught up."

"Um, sure. I'm off at eight." I headed off to the break room for a cup of coffee. As I watched her walk off, I remember the kiss. I never figured out where I finally got the courage to lean in and I sighed quietly when I remembered her kissing back.

"Everything okay?" Abby's voice scared me.

"Yeah, why?"

"You sighed."

I sipped my coffee. "You try walking on two legs that aren't yours and see if you're not sighing."

Abby smiled. "Touché. Glad you're back, Ray." She poured herself a cup of coffee. "If you need help with anything, let me know. I can do what I can, okay?"

"Okay." I had a couple smart remarks I wanted to make, but kept them quiet. "Um, how's Neela. I mean really."

Abby pursed her lips together in a saucy grin. "Well, she's not been in any sort of serious relationship since you left." She put her hand on her hip. "She's been working a lot and between you and me, it was because she wanted to forget what she felt for a certain punk rock doctor."

_I stared angrily at my mom as we drove out of Chicago. I was angry at Neela for leading me on. I was angry at Gates for being alive. I was angry at myself for getting drunk and for getting in the fight. I was angry at whoever drove the truck. I was angry that my mom wanted me to rehab in Baton Rouge. I didn't want to go back, but I didn't want to stay either. I was angry at life. I wanted to blame Neela, but I couldn't. I made a stupid choice and I had to pay the consequences._

_For the first couple of months in Baton Rouge, I blamed Neela for it, even though I sent her a couple letter saying I didn't. After all, if she hadn't went to Tony after telling me that I wouldn't have to wait long. I looked at her, thinking I had another chance to tell her that I loved her. Only this time, there was a bitterness in my voice as I told her. I recalled her face and realized she finally felt the same pain I felt at knowing that love was there, but well out of reach._

_During my rehab, I remembered Neela in the room, gently kissing my cheek and telling me I'd make it through. I didn't want to. Not without her. But ever day, I pushed myself. No matter how hard I tried, I could never stop loving Neela Rasgotra. I worked every day to make myself the man she deserved, but when her letters stopped coming, I stopped working._

"_Get off your ass and work, Raymond!" My mom yelled at me. "No woman is worth it."_

"_Easy for you to say." I snapped back. I slipped back into my self pity._

_Katey smacked the back of my head. "She's not worth it, Ray. She's the reason that you're…"_

"_GET OUT!" I yelled. "Get the fuck out and leave me the hell alone, Katey. Don't come back either. You're not worth it." I wheeled off, intent to spend the rest of my life pining for Neela._


	3. Unbreakable Despite The Past

_I don't own the characters. They are owned by NBC and Michael Crichton and all those who write, produce, and etc…ER. If I did own ER, Neela and Ray would be together…since they're PERFECT for each other. _

_I don't own Westlife (if I did, Kian would be in red silk boxers all the time and have his hair dyed brown so those dreamy blue eyes POP!…LoL) or the songs. However, like millions others, I do own the CD the songs are on, but that's just about it._

_Anyhow, this started off as a little drabble, but the muses had other ideas. I was listening to Westlife (hence the title of this story, though my muses have decided that some other Westlife songs should be employed in the story. They also decided to make this chapter look different from the others because they LOVE this song and wanted more of the lyrics in the chapter. Sorry. If you don't like, blame the muses! LoL) I hope my muses aren't continuing to be rusty and that you enjoy!_

* * *

_**This love is unbreakable  
**__**It's unmistakable  
**__**And each time I look in your eyes  
**__**I know why  
**__**This love is untouchable  
**__**I feel that my heart just can't deny  
**__**Each time I look in your eyes  
**__**Oh baby, I know why  
**__**This love is unbreakable**_

_**UNBREAKABLE by Westlife**_

Shift ended before I knew it and Neela stood beside me as we walked to the nearest all night coffee shop. "So, sorry I didn't write a lot, but…"

"It's okay, Neela." I lied. I knew she had her reasons for not writing. She had always avoided issues she didn't want to deal with. Her MO was not doing anything if she didn't know what to do. Her motto seemed to be avoidance is the best way of dealing with things.

"I suppose you heard about what happened the day you left." She shrugged in the chilly air.

"Yeah. Sam told me. They were quite worried from what I understand, but Neela," I looked at her. "Let's not play this game anymore. I'm quite exhausted from it." I stopped and she faced me. "I can't take anymore stringing along. It's taken me two years to begin to heal from the emotional scars that you left."

"You think it was easy for me?" She snapped back. "I had a hell of a time trying to forget you." Tears welled up in her eyes. "I worked and worked and over worked just so I could forget what I felt I did to you. I drank more than I ever did. However, nothing I tried or did could ever erase the image of you in that wheelchair."

I had never known that my accident had affected her. I had been so wrapped up in my anger and what affect it had on me that I never stopped to think of what it did to her. "I'm sorry."

"How could you have known? I didn't want to tell you." She scoffed at herself. "That's just me, isn't it? Never say anything of importance. Just pretend it had no affect because I wanted you to get better and…" Tears now streamed down her face. I did the first thing that I could think of: I pulled her close to me and let her cry into my chest. Two years of her anger, frustrations, fears, and regrets rushed into a damp pool on my shirt. "I'm so sorry, Ray."

When I agreed to go for coffee with her, I hadn't intended to make her open up old wounds. I wanted to get caught up, not live in the past. I had, with hard work and determination…and some therapy…came to understand that I couldn't change what _had_ happened, but could change what _could_ happen. "No, Neela. Don't be sorry. What do you say we just forget for now what happened and just talk about anything else." I softly stroked her hair.

I felt her nod in my chest. "But, Ray, we do need to talk about it."

She looked up at me and I smiled. She hadn't changed at all. Sure, there were a few more worry lines than were there when I left, but she still had that look of fear and innocence when her world seemingly fell apart. "The time to talk about the past is not now. It's a ways off. Come on, Roomie. How about I buy the coffee?"

She laughed through her tears. "I'm not your Roomie, you know."

I kept my arm around her shoulders as we continued to walk. "You'll always be my Roomie. No matter what, Neela."

"I missed hearing you call me that." She wiped some tears as she laughed. "I thought that when I moved out that I wouldn't miss you calling me that, but in the end I did."

"I heard from Pratt and Morris about you and Katey having it out on shift." I smiled in my attempt to change the subject.

Neela looked up at me. "Yeah. She still blames me. You talk to her?"

"Not for at least a year. Don't care to. It was okay for me to blame you, but when someone else did, I…I kicked her out. Told her to leave me alone."

"You blamed me?" Neela suddenly stopped and looked at me. "After all the letters…"

"Yes, I blamed you because I couldn't face the fact that I was the stupid one. I wanted a scapegoat and you were the first in mind. If Abby popped in my head first, I would have found a way to pin it on her." I sighed. "I stopped blaming you after I heard from Sam that you had almost died. To come so close to losing you and never…"

"The time to talk about the past isn't now, Ray." She smiled as she took my hand. It was like old times. Only there was something different about it.


End file.
